Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it


Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don't know something, and to learn something new. -Barack Obama

Asking for help can be tough for some us when we are stressed. We sometimes perceive asking for help as a sign of weakness especially when it comes to seeking help for our mental health. We have our moments when we feel we may not be able to go through a situation alone and in those moment, we need realize it’s okay to lean on others and seek assistance from them. Its okay to ask for help when you need it. It takes courage to accept you need help. Some problems in your life may feel bearable whereas others feel overwhelming and difficult to manage. Asking for help is the first step towards improving yourself and realizing that you don’t always have to go through tough time alone. Contrary to popular beliefs, you do not have to be the brink of meltdown to seek therapy. Life is difficult enough and we shouldn’t expect that we have to go through it all on our own.

I believed I had to be strong and face all difficulties on my own. I tried to be perfect in all areas of my life. I always felt proud because I got through things alone. I have accomplished a lot from getting admission in one of the best colleges for my post-graduation, securing a job straight out of college and trying to do best in my job. I tried to be perfect in all aspect but gradually functioning non-stop took a toll on both my mental and physical health. I ended up an emotional breakdown. I would feel dizzy throughout the day and would cry every day. I could no longer function on my own. That was the moment when I needed help. It was time to find strength in my vulnerability and reach out for help. That was also the moment I decided to seek therapy. It really does take a lot of courage and strength to open up and say, “I’m not feeling okay and I really need help.” 

“Never be afraid to ask for help; it’s one of the bravest and strongest things that you can ever do. You are never alone.”- Nicole Lyons

Before I talk about how it’s absolutely okay to seek help, let’s look at few assumptions that we hold that stop us from asking for help
  • I am perfectly fine all by myself and don’t need help from anyone
  • Only I can solve my problem
  • Asking for help is a sign of weakness
  • I am burdening other person by asking for help from someone else
  • I must return the favour if I ask for help
 These assumptions form a major barrier in our attitude towards asking for help and hamper our healing process.
It's Okay to Ask For Help: Know When to Accept Support | Ask for ...

It is important that we understand why there is no shame in asking for help when we are struggling. Part of being a human being is having limitations. No one can do it all. We all need social support in some from. If there’s no shame in seeking help for medical/physiological problems then there should be no shame in seeking help for problems related to mental health.   

Every person has their share of struggles, one core purpose of human relationships is to support one another through these struggles. We shouldn’t be afraid to reach out because complete independence seems a bit unrealistic when we are living in a social world and in a collectivistic society. As human beings, we are wired to connect with other people. Asking for help shows trust and helps build bonds of intimacy in relationships. Exposing your limitations to someone shows that you’re willing to be vulnerable to them. Being in touch with your feelings allow you to become a better person and help in reconnecting with your authentic self. It takes strength to express and accept how you feel. 

Let's clarify a few things. Most people who undergo therapy need not have a serious mental illness. They may be facing serious life challenges or are going through difficult life-cycle transitions that may be challenging their ability to deal with stressful situations which in turn, may be affecting their overall well-being and ability to function as well as they would like.

Counselling, talk therapy or psychotherapy no matter the name it’s known by counselling for mental health can be beneficial in overcoming challenges in all spheres of life be it emotional difficulties, relationship issues, childhood trauma, life challenges or mental illness. Therapy can be a very powerful tool to work through such issues. Your therapist will not try to fix you but will be your guide throughout your healing journey.

Despite an increasing awareness of benefits of therapy, a major deterrent to seeking help is the stigma that surrounds therapy sessions. Whether you are seeking counseling to sort through feelings of stress or anxiety, or aiming to address a clinical mental health condition, recognizing that obtaining professional assistance in overcoming these challenges is an important step.
 The Importance of Asking for Help | Libero Magazine
Eliminating stigma begins from yourself, once you start changing and adapting your views towards going for therapy and the reason you are going for, you will be able to speak more openly about it. You need not share the personal details of your sessions but you also don’t have to hide the fact that you are seeking therapy. 

Your own view of yourself is more important than what others think. If you believe undergoing therapy is useful for you, that is all that matters. 

Therapy is a powerful tool for overcoming challenges and getting your strength back in life. Do not hinder your healing process by allowing stigma to keep you from taking steps forward in your life.

A few benefits of seeking therapy include:
  • Therapists listen to your story without any judgment or bias, they might offer you recommendations but they do not tell you what to do. You have complete control of your healing process which helps you learn more about yourself. 
  • Therapy empowers you to take action on your own.
  • It helps you clarify and form realistic goals. You are able to form path that leads you to your destination.
  • Therapy can help you address difficulties with relating to others, such as insecurity in relationships or difficulty trusting your partners.
  • It helps in improving your overall wellness- therapy addresses all aspects of self which include physical, mental, social and spiritual self.

Don’t be afraid or feel ashamed in asking for help, you do not have to go through everything alone.

“Healing takes time, and asking for help is a courageous step. -Mariska Hargitay”
Amazon.com : Superheroes Need Help: Fight Pediatric Cancer ...


                                                           Sanjina Bose

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