4 Ways To Practice Self-Compassion

When you experience a setback in life two things can happen- either you defend yourself and blame the situation or you may blame yourself for not being good enough to work through it. In this particular situation you may realize neither of the reaction is helpful. 

Now imagine if you friend went through a similar setback, what would you say to him/her? You would try to support them, provide unconditional love and kindness and probably try to work through the problem.

Now why is it that you were kind and supportive to your friend and helped her/him with the difficult situation. Why were you not kind and loving towards yourself?

You may come across many such situations where you may have been much harsher towards yourself.

Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain you stop and tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment? 

"Instead of judging and criticizing yourself for various setbacks or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?" -Dr. Kristin Neff

Here are 4 ways through you can learn self-compassion:

1. Give yourself a break when you need it, don't push yourself too hard

  • It's okay if you were not able to help your his in his studies today
  • It's okay if you did not attend a new skill learning workshop
  • It's okay if you were not able to cook or exercise today

You are allowed to give yourself a break and relax

Do not compare your progress with others. Give yourself some time to breathe and give yourself the permission to not be productive today



2. Reward yourself for you achievements. Acknowledge and appreciate even the smallest of achievements.  

  • Appreciate yourself for where you are today
  • Look back at your achievements
  • Give yourself the credit for overcoming difficult situation  
  • Celebrate yourself for becoming the person you are today

3. Ask for help. Nobody should go through their struggles alone, reach out and ask for help



4. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes


"Things will not always go the way you want them to. You will encounter frustrations, losses will occur, you will make mistakes, bump up against your limitations, fall short of your ideals. This is the human condition, a reality shared by all of us. The more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly fighting against it, the more you will be able to feel compassion for yourself and all your fellow humans in the experience of life." -Dr. Kristin Neff





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